I once read that you should never write when you're emotional - it won't make sense when you return to read it again. Hence I've waited until today to start penning down my thoughts about my father's death. I wanted this piece to be something I can return to as a reminder about what's truly important in life.

Let's begin. If you don't already know, my father passed away on Thursday, 27th October 2011. How he died is somewhat difficult for me to explain? Especially with all the medical terms involved. But suffice to say, he spent the last 10 days of his life warded in a hospital. Fortunately that makes it less sudden for the family and it allowed us to walk on a journey instead of dealing with just a single event.

In fact, I think we've been prepared for this journey over the last couple of years. As I look back at those memories we've had as a family, I remember wondering to myself how long the good times will last. My mum shared that she has the same thoughts herself. Nevertheless, I'm grateful for the times I've had with him over the last few years, especially when we went on holidays as a family, or when we were traveling around Singapore taking photos of each other.

Looking back, I think it was the grace of God that prepared us for such an event - by giving us an inkling of what might happen in the future, by allowing us to have fun together and laugh together over many meals. I also heard that he'd been spending time with his family - particularly his brothers. They impressed on us that he had really changed in the recent years, moving from a stern, no-nonsense kind of guy to becoming a hearty, joy-filled and wonderful man.

Death has a way of making you think about life. It forces you to think about what's truly important at the end of the day. Throughout the memorial/funeral, the Holy Spirit was gently telling me that getting serious about living life is about what happens on the Monday after everything was over.

My dad wanted me to fight hard in telling people about Jesus. He wanted me to walk close to God and invest in people's life. While I was giving the eulogy on both nights, I felt convicted by the Holy Spirit that this is what my life's work should look like. Being intimate with God and reflecting that love and attention on other people - to enter into their world, feel their joy and share in their pain.

But convictions can become dull if we don't remind ourselves about it everyday. What if one day I were to get on with life neglecting God or the people around me? Would I be sensitive enough to know that I was losing steam?

While I was able to connect with people who don't know Jesus or have been been far away from Him during these past few days, there's a holy fear in me that I might neglect all this people when I start to get caught up with life once again. 

In order that I continue to strive and persevere in pursuing Jesus and spreading His Love, I've decided to embark on a change in perspective. My dad affirmed and testified about the existence of God and the existence of heaven, even when he was at the end of his life. I believe that he wouldn't have made his family's salvation his final wish if it wasn't that important.

I will take his affirmation of heaven and go one step further so that I don't lose steam. I'm going to make it a point to help people to experience a portion of heaven while they're on earth. Heaven is a place where there is no sin, no sickness, no pain, no suffering and no tears. To advance the kingdom of Heaven on earth is to come against everything that is not of God - that is, to come alongside people and pray away the effects and power of sin over their lives. 

And I shall continue to write. I shall continue to sing. I shall make an effort to improve my listening skills and more importantly my heart of compassion. And I shall have God help me every step of the way. I hope that with the sacrifice of my life and my own selfish desires, I will move from death (not truly living) to life.

You, if you're reading this, I cannot do this on my own. If at any point you feel that I'm neglecting God or not caring about people, please talk to me about it! Or go one step further, come alongside me now, and make a difference to people. Because that's life. That's living.

I once read that you should never write when you're emotional - it won't make sense when you return to read it again. Hence I've waited until today to start penning down my thoughts about my father's death. I wanted this piece to be something I can return to as a reminder about what's truly important in life.

Let's begin. If you don't already know, my father passed away on Thursday, 27th October 2011. How he died is somewhat difficult for me to explain? Especially with all the medical terms involved. But suffice to say, he spent the last 10 days of his life warded in a hospital. Fortunately that makes it less sudden for the family and it allowed us to walk on a journey instead of dealing with just a single event.

In fact, I think we've been prepared for this journey over the last couple of years. As I look back at those memories we've had as a family, I remember wondering to myself how long the good times will last. My mum shared that she has the same thoughts herself. Nevertheless, I'm grateful for the times I've had with him over the last few years, especially when we went on holidays as a family, or when we were traveling around Singapore taking photos of each other.

Looking back, I think it was the grace of God that prepared us for such an event - by giving us an inkling of what might happen in the future, by allowing us to have fun together and laugh together over many meals. I also heard that he'd been spending time with his family - particularly his brothers. They impressed on us that he had really changed in the recent years, moving from a stern, no-nonsense kind of guy to becoming a hearty, joy-filled and wonderful man.

Death has a way of making you think about life. It forces you to think about what's truly important at the end of the day. Throughout the memorial/funeral, the Holy Spirit was gently telling me that getting serious about living life is about what happens on the Monday after everything was over.

My dad wanted me to fight hard in telling people about Jesus. He wanted me to walk close to God and invest in people's life. While I was giving the eulogy on both nights, I felt convicted by the Holy Spirit that this is what my life's work should look like. Being intimate with God and reflecting that love and attention on other people - to enter into their world, feel their joy and share in their pain.

But convictions can become dull if we don't remind ourselves about it everyday. What if one day I were to get on with life neglecting God or the people around me? Would I be sensitive enough to know that I was losing steam?

While I was able to connect with people who don't know Jesus or have been been far away from Him during these past few days, there's a holy fear in me that I might neglect all this people when I start to get caught up with life once again. 

In order that I continue to strive and persevere in pursuing Jesus and spreading His Love, I've decided to embark on a change in perspective. My dad affirmed and testified about the existence of God and the existence of heaven, even when he was at the end of his life. I believe that he wouldn't have made his family's salvation his final wish if it wasn't that important.

I will take his affirmation of heaven and go one step further so that I don't lose steam. I'm going to make it a point to help people to experience a portion of heaven while they're on earth. Heaven is a place where there is no sin, no sickness, no pain, no suffering and no tears. To advance the kingdom of Heaven on earth is to come against everything that is not of God - that is, to come alongside people and pray away the effects and power of sin over their lives. 

And I shall continue to write. I shall continue to sing. I shall make an effort to improve my listening skills and more importantly my heart of compassion. And I shall have God help me every step of the way. I hope that with the sacrifice of my life and my own selfish desires, I will move from death (not truly living) to life.

You, if you're reading this, I cannot do this on my own. If at any point you feel that I'm neglecting God or not caring about people, please talk to me about it! Or go one step further, come alongside me now, and make a difference to people. Because that's life. That's living.

hey, this is Jerald